Birthday Blues

Dinner at Primavista with our friends

Photo-bombed by the sweetest little lady during our bathroom photo shoot

I pretty much had my life planned out by age 18. I knew I wanted to go to college, get married to my then fiance, have two kids, a boy and a girl, buy a house, and live happily ever after. My plan was for all of this to be accomplished by age 27. Boy did that go a different way. I didn’t end up completing college until I was 26. I got married when I turned 30 to a different fiance. I am not a mom (yet). And I don’t have, nor want a house at this point in my life. I am not going to lie, turning 36 last week gave me a bit of the birthday blues.

Me and my best Lashonda

Penne with Artichokes, Arugula, Pancetta, and a Veal Meatball

Gorgonzola and Pancetta Bruschetta 

Me opening my birthday gift from my best. She got me the newest Juvia’s Place palette (Nubian 3) and some of my favorite candy!

Yes, I am thankful for another year of life, but I couldn’t help but think about what I didn’t have (yet). I cried a  bit last week. I was frustrated with God about some things. My feelings were hurt. I should have more accomplished and be further along with this “plan” by now. I know I should be proud of all of the things that I’ve done thus far. I should give myself credit for all of my achievements to date, but I don’t very often. And I think it’s because I don’t ever want to become complacent in life. There is so much more that I want and need to do. And looking at my age sometimes makes me feel behind the eight-ball, somewhere that I shouldn’t be at this point.

Dress: Who What Wear x Target/ Shoes: Gianni Bini/ Bag: Staud/ Earrings: H&M/ Bracelet: Kate Spade

My best and her hubby Antoine

Last week made me so grateful for my husband. He was so patient with me. He encouraged me, held my hand, reminded me that I’m right where I need to be and that God is not finished with me yet. I realized that God knew what he was doing when he put us together. He knew that I would need him at this very moment. As much as I want things to move along faster at times, I know that God knows best. His timing is not our timing, his ways are not our ways, nor his thoughts our thoughts. He has never failed me yet, so I have no reason not to trust him.

Me and my favorite human!

So for year thirty-six, I’m asking God for peace, continued guidance, knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. I am working on being more kind to myself on this journey and less of a self-critic. I am working on giving grace to myself as well as those around me. I am working on becoming the best that I can be right where I am.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

XOXO

Princess

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2 Comments

  1. July 19, 2019 / 5:54 pm

    Amen sis! I know these feelings too well and sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves. I love what your hubby said and I love that he said just what God needed you to hear! Cheers to year 36 and all that God has in store for you 💛

    • personalbravery1
      Author
      July 25, 2019 / 9:41 pm

      Thank you sis! Appreciate your support and you taking the time to read!